Animal Profile: Nes

Age: 6

Likes: Little bugs, laps, cuddling with the dogs, fresh water, licking plastic bags, feet

Dislikes: Being picked on by Toki, having to hurry

Other Names: Big Chungus, Bubblegum Belly

She also has a god-tier Resting Bitch Face

She also has a god-tier Resting Bitch Face

Nes is the sister of Sega but is about twice her weight. She also has the softest fur, you guys. She’s very mellow and that makes her a prime target for Toki’s frequent bullying. I’m just glad Luma is quick to intervene and maintain the peace.

You don’t have to sit for long before she’s in your lap. She sometimes slips outside when I let the dogs out, but she just rubs on the doorway and then comes back in when I call the dogs back in. Nes is also the only animal I will tolerate having in the bedroom at night. All she wants to do is cuddle. She’s my sweet creature of chill times. And lovin’ on feets. All the feets.

Also, she’s got the most ridiculous pink belly and lips. Just thought you should know.

Animal Profile: Sega

Age: 6

Likes: Little bugs, shadows, chasing her tail, singing in the basement, Old Spice deodorant, houseplants

Dislikes: Being picked up, having flea drops administered

Other Names: Segata Sanshiro

She stayed like this for an hour, watching a little bug.

She stayed like this for an hour, watching a little bug.

Sega is one of the two kittens I got together. She’s got a wee little black spot on her nose which we affectionately call her ‘Kitler stache’. She’s the smallest of all the animals and she’s also the most elusive. If you can’t find her, she’s probably in the basement, ruling over her dark kingdom. You can summon her by standing at the top of the stairs and calling ‘MEOW MEOW, MEOW MEOW’. She’ll come to see what fool mortal dares to summon her.

And then she’ll love you, so don’t worry.

I must warn you before you come over to my house. If you’re wearing Old Spice deodorant, or use Old Spice bodywash, you can forget the whole ‘elusive’ thing. She’ll find you. She’ll find you and breathe in that heavy, intoxicating scent. She’ll also latch onto your arm and bury her face in your armpit, so be warned.

Sega is by far the weirdest of the animals and I love her for it.

Animal Profile: Toki

Age: 13?

Likes: Hands, belly rubs, praise and acknowledgement of his excellency, canned tuna, flowers

Dislikes: Flea drops, having to move

Powers: Liquid-mode

Alternate names: Lord Tokigawa of the Tokigawa Shogunate, Floppy Boi, Toki-Toki Panic, Toki-Toki Literature Club, That Guy

Behold his magnificence. Stroke his belly fur. it’s absolutely not a trap.

Behold his magnificence. Stroke his belly fur. it’s absolutely not a trap.

Toki is the oldest of the animals. He’s a tabby who went through a fat period shortly after he was neutered, but now he’s just kinda floppy. He gets along with most everybody. The only reason he’s not in your face right now is because he’s busy sleeping.

He’s also the worst jumper I have ever seen. That does not stop him from absolutely wiping out against a table or counter.

He gets along with the rest of the animals. While the dogs are careful with the kittens, they have no problem chasing him around and teasing him. The dogs wag their tails like it’s great fun, but you can tell that Toki is doing his best to inflict great harm upon them.

They’re pitbulls. They can take a bite to the ear.

He curls up with the kittens, but he has a tendency to bully Nes occasionally. He pins down her great fluffy bulk and bites her. Luckily, Luma the Sheriff is quick to break up their scuffles.

His favorite place is on my husband’s desk, right on top of his mouse hand. Because there is no reason he can’t move the cursor AND tend to the fur of Lord Tokigawa. Peon.